A girl and her wolf

     There is a North American Indian belief that some people make a pact with nature at a young age. These are the people who tend the earth, they inherently know if you take care of the earth it will take care of you, these people understand the balance of nature,they are the people you find working with animals,outdoorsy types, or those with seemingly a deeper connection to the natural earth and its inhabitants. 

     There is peace in the noise of nature,like the rustle of leaves in the wind or the crunch and shuffle of them underfoot.  There is comfort in the conversation of birds.  The surf lapping the sands or waves crashing the shoreline is a contrast of calm within chaos.  Even the startling crunch of snow and ice underfoot or the eerie caw of a crow evokes a gentle serenity in the human soul.  This is why we attempt to go where no man has gone before.  This is why we pitch tents or chase sun rises on hopefully deserted beaches.  We need to escape the madness of our own creation,  There is a deep primal need to connect with nature in each of us, some feel it stronger than others, some choose to ignore it,some seek it and revel in it. 

     When I was too young to venture out on my own I would sit at windows watching the effects of wind and rain,I fell asleep to the songs of barn owls and wind calling through pine trees.  The backyard eventually became my world, I was small and this world seemed vast.  I have since returned to this backyard and cannot wrap my mind around the fact that the trees are not all that tall the hill is not actually steep and the house is a  short walk from the barn at the edge of the field. When I was a child  the pine trees stretched to the sky and would make gigantic sweeping shelters when their branches were laden with snow.  The mountainous hill required several rests to the top, where I would kneel in the snow looking up through falling snowflakes to the dizzying,swaying tree tops, waiting for one to break under its snowy weight.  I would traverse the length of the yard, past the barn looking for animal tracks in the snow or mud simply so I could follow them and find the creature in hopes of playing with them.  I grew up with animals, dogs,cats, horses,chickens,roosters,fish,Guinea pigs,hamsters,gerbils parakeets,skunks,raccoons,squirrels,parakeets and rabbits.

     The backyard soon became the neighborhood which was the center of a small town extending in all four directions.  I would ride my bike or walk as far as I dared.  There were fields to go through,railroad tracks to follow, cemeteries that extended back a few hundred years to explore,patches of woods to hide in or explore, to watch,listen and learn in or to just "be".  Though I played with other children often I was also extraordinarily content to go off on my own, so I did and still do though my backyard has now extended to the entire world or at the very least parts of North America, I have much to explore.  To this day I am drawn to watching dragonflies, delighted with sunsets and sunrises, bodies of water, sand in my toes,grass underfoot, rocky terrain,the smell of rain and snow, the colors of nature,astonished by leaping whales and in awe of whitetails navigating a forest run,amazed at nature and animals, how perfectly it all works.  By the age of ten I knew I would work with animals as an adult, the plan was to be a large animal vet, I wanted to be the one helping relocate rhinoceroses or saving injured lions and eagles. As life takes its course I found this plan fading and not followed as diligently as I should have.  I found myself doing other things,feeling unfulfilled. 

   It takes time to come full circle but some of us are fortunate enough to be hit on the head while navigating the circle.  Our eyes are opened and our course is re charted.  This occurred for me after moving to Oklahoma City.
     The city is a sprawling metropolis offering up a share of homelessness,inner city gangs,motorcycle gangs, illegal drug activity,prostitution poverty, seedy strip clubs and diners you can still smoke in, alongside billionaire ranches,colleges high-end shops, five star dining, Broadway shows,  art districts, several concert venues, rock climbing facilities, airports, military bases, fairgrounds,flea markets and more pawn shops and auto dealerships than one would think possible.  It has several school districts, middle,upper and lower class neighborhoods with parks seemingly unintentionally segregated with all nationalities, Mexican,black, native American and white being the four predominant.  There are churches scattered throughout along with many people and animal shelters packed to capacity. There are wal-marts and restaurant chains, malls, museums and one fabulous zoo.This zoo has animal enclosures mimicking natural habitats,not cages.  I am a frequent visitor. Thus the place I got my proverbial bump on the head whilst navigating my life circle. There was a job opening available with the apes, I was fortunate enough to fall into.  I was able to observe and record behavior as well as interact with the apes. The job was not a long term position so I did my stint and marveled at my good fortune and then I was fed back to the lions,  I  mean the humans.  I am not a city girl.  I don't mind a visit but in truth the city makes me uncomfortable, it is confining, unnatural and unnerving.  I looked for escape.  What I found were stray animals everywhere. Dogs and cats alike.  More often than not I found myself pulling my car over coaxing a stray dog to me and bringing it home. Thus began my volunteering at the animal shelter. I was fostering dogs in my home until they could find homes of their own. I found myself helping one dog give birth and then raising her six pups as she lacked the instinct to mother almost entirely. I cleaned the pups and helped them take their first breath, I fed them via a dropper round the clock and resented the bitch for rejecting her pups. But, that is nature sometimes. I have no interest in breeders,pet stores or puppy mills or puppies for the sake of puppies.  Your pets need to be spayed or neutered.  You do not need to have puppies for extra income or to keep the line of breed going.  You do need to visit a shelter.  Spend five minutes in one at least.  You will understand the need for spaying and neutering and our responsibility to these animals. There are many low cost spay and neuter programs available in every state, contact your local shelter or SPCA for information.
     Still naturally needing an escape and finding nowhere in the city that wasn't inhabited with a plethora of people regularly. I drove outside the city.   There are woods once one gets past the housing developments and neighborhoods.  There are lakes.  There are places I've discovered where I can breathe.  One such escape brought me to saving the life of and sharing a life with a misunderstood creature. A wolf.

   It was the end of February, still cold in the mid west. There hadn't been much snow or ice just a prevailing cold.  I needed to get out as I was still raising the six pups, I felt a serious bout of cabin fever and went to the woods seeking quiet and serenity.  I had  walked about a mile in, I was quiet in my walking, I was listening to the quiet of the wood which in some cases is deafening at other times it is rife with a cacophony of natures music. Being day light in February it was a still kind of  quiet I was experiencing. I was walking east into the sun,squinting and happy I noticed a mound of snow,dirt and wood debris in front of a large oak tree I was passing.  In fact, I did pass it , thinking  I sensed some movement and  being a very curious girl I did the only thing natural to me and that was go back to investigate. As I got closer I saw paws and slight movement. I began making noise and approaching more cautiously but soon realized the animal was dead and the animal was a wolf.  I am unsure of the wolf population in Oklahoma and honestly wasn't sure there was one as the wolf population throughout North America has been drastically decreased and only in recent years been allowed to grow in some parts via the wolf reintroduction program at Yellowstone National Park.  My first thought was that it was a dog.  Once I began to dig around and dig the animal out of her attempted burrow I saw she was all wolf and had died giving birth.  I suspected she was sick or injured to begin with and hadn't been able to make a proper lair in the weeks before her birthing, which is what wolves do. This is also why I wasn't leery of other pack members coming out of the woods.  I suspected she was either a lone wolf due to something happening to her mate. Wolves mate for life. She may have been  ousted from the pack due to sickness or injury. I wish I knew her story.  She had birthed three pups  and they had begun nursing but two of them had frozen to death at some point. There was one pup in between its two froze litter mates feebly squirming and attempting to extract nourishment from its mother, clearly only surviving due to the sparse warmth or its litter mates which was becoming non existent. My heart leaped at this point and my only thought was saving this wolf pups life.  I honestly don't think the pups were 24 hours old or even a full 12 hours.  I took off my jacket, wrapped the pup in it, told mama wolf I would look after her baby and left the woods.  Knowing full well this pup needed immediate nourishment as well as warmth and that timing was crucial I went directly to the nearest store which thankfully was a Wal-Mart,they have almost everything. I brought the pup inside with me in my jacket and I was able to purchase baby formula and a dropper.   I had a can opener on my key chain to open the can of formula.  I sat down right there in Wal-Mart and began to feed the pup, he took to the formula right away, greedily. No one seemed to pay much attention to me feeding a wolf pup in Wal-Marts infant department oddly enough;in fact, I barely warranted a glance from an employee. The wolf was only two pounds at the most and not much bigger than my hand. He became known to me as Little Wolf. I took him home. My thought was to raise him as much like a mother wolf as was possible and then release him back to the woods when he seemed old enough.  My biggest problem was I was not a mother wolf. Soon his eyes opened to the world around him and as he grew i realized I wasn't prepared to chew raw meat and regurgitate it while he licked it out of my mouth nor did I know the proper way to teach him about his pack or how to play and hunt for survival, all things a mother wolf would know. His play mates fast became his pack and was comprised of the six pups I was raising as well as a few foster dogs and a stray staying with me. I vaccinated him with canine vaccines, fed him puppy food, let him play and sort out his place in the pack with the other pups but decided it may be wise for me to maintain dominance over him. He had fast become the dominant pack member,known as the Alpha with all the other dogs in the home and no one seemed up to challenging him except for me. The alpha wolf in a pack is the decision maker for the pack, the other members look to him for everything, Little Wolf took his role as Alpha seriously and became a big help to me in raising the pups and keeping everyone in line as well as an assistant to me in training. Though he was younger he seemed more intelligent than the pups. Little Wolf did not like to sleep inside with the other dogs but loved stretching out on the back steps by the back door especially on cooler evenings. He also took to stealing things and hiding them. He became known as Bandit as well as Little Wolf. I never could establish a reason for Bandits thievery other than it was a game to him. He would steal dishes,pots and pans from the lower cabinets, socks, shoes, remotes and car keys. I soon learned his hiding places were various spots in the back yard and also learned to hide things from him as well as always check the back yard first if something came up missing. By the time he was six months old and forty pounds I turned to Shaun Ellis for help.  Bandit wasn't a domesticated dog, he had other instincts and other ideas about the way life was going to be. I wanted to know more about wolves and the things Bandit was trying to tell me. It seemed I was always misunderstanding him. The pups were easy, I knew when they needed to go out and what time to feed them and how to get them to sit and stay.  The same held true for Bandit but he was always challenging me and was also restless.  I found out about Shaun on a chance visit to the library for information on wolves.  There was a National Geographic video documentary of him on the shelf referring to him as the wolf man.

Though I was never able to contact him personally he enlightened me to so much regarding Bandits signals via his publications and videos. Shaun has worked with,studied and literally lived in a wolf pack as a wolf. This is an amazing story in and of itself. His book is called The Man Who Lives with Wolves.  He also did a show for Animal Planet called Living with the Wolf man.  Through Shauns information I learned why Bandit would howl and began to differentiate what his different howls meant.  Wolves communicate in so many ways, much as humans do.  Howling is a way to let other packs know they are there or a different pack might be infringing on their territory. They howl to locate,they howl to alert,they howl to announce, they howl for loss every howl has a different meaning and there are many different howls.  I learned much about the wolves diet but being how Bandit was not living in the woods and I was not going to take him hunting every other day he would subsist on dog food and the meats I occasionally allowed him.  Wolves have amazing knowledge of themselves and their world.  Wolves instinctively know what to eat. If a wolf has worms it will find rotting meat to eat in order to chase the worms out of its system.  In colder weather a wolf will eat the stomach lining of a deer or elk for the  nutrients and fat it provides for extra warmth. Even certain parts of a kill are allotted for certain pack members. Wolves will not kill or take more than they need. Wolves do not kill for sport or fun.  Bandit is a hunter. He has killed rats,mice,frogs,gophers,squirrel and snakes, occasionally he brings me a carcass. I know he is sharing his treat with me and I try to appear gracious every time although it isn't my idea of a box of chocolates.  Bandit is also gentle and shy.  Wolves are actually very shy creatures. They are not aggressive without reason and the few isolated incidents where a human has been attacked the wolf has been sick and in the case of the jogger, he had been subsisting on a diet of fish for months and simply smelled like prey in a very unusual and isolated hunger situation.
I have witnessed Bandit tackle grown men upon entering my home but, merely gently sniff a child.
I've witnessed him gouge and nearly take the ear off an unlucky stray that wandered into his yard but take a new pup gently in his teeth,out of my hands to gently groom and cuddle it. 
I've seen him make friends with every dog in the dog park but on occasion one will becoming challenging to one of his pack and he will quickly put an end to the challenge with a certain approach to the other dog.
I've seen him take down another dog for what he perceived as a threat to me but without harming the animal.
I've seem him break up fights within the pack by simply stepping on one of the dogs,flipping the dog on its back and standing over it.
But,I've also seen him run away from a cat and a goose.  So much for the big bad wolf.

Bandit has never been aggressive with me, he has never growled at me in so much as a warning, he has never tried to knock or pull me down in play or at all, he has never bit me though he has had his mouth and teeth on me gently in play or to convey something to me such as pulling me to the door or to wake me or get my attention.
When I take him out to run and roam he is spectacular in his strength and beauty. He is more curious than any animal I have encountered. He is constantly sniffing and smelling everything he encounters. He loves to swim and chase ducks and geese. He loves to dig, he loves to run. He will not go more than twenty or so feet ahead of me before he will slow and look back to be sure I am still following though the older he gets the less he looks as he most likely just senses me via smell or sound.  He is all wolf when we are out on our roaming. There are many times when we get back in the car and I look back in my rear view mirror to see him sitting upright,leaning against the back seat staring out the rear view window as his freedom ebbs out of sight and my heart goes out to him. I would love to see him be accepted into a pack in the wild and know that life.  Bandit is now two years old,( wolves have been known to live in captivity up to 17 years) he has known nothing of the wild,he has been a member of a domesticated dog pack and a loyal friend to me. He is 125 pounds of wonderful companionship and inspiration to me. Bandit was a gift and through him I have learned patience, he has helped me cultivate a new sense of humor and how to greater observe life and be present in my own life as well as appreciate  moments in nature even more, he has taught me a new awareness and how to listen. He has insisted on a six thirty wake up daily for well over a year,therefore I rarely miss a sunrise. I'm sure this is part of his plan for me,no missed sunrises. Its not really a bad idea. Bandit has helped show me my way back to my desire and calling to work with animals. I now am studying to be an animal behaviourist and trainer.  I leave you with one more story about nature and self discovery from the Nez Perce' "A man was on a voyage of self-discovery,hoping he might find some answers from the wise Indians to help lift his depression.  He was an earnest young man and wore the weight of the world on his shoulders. One of the tribal elders told him he must go off in the forest for three days to find scats, droppings from deer,bears,mountain lions,coyotes,foxes, and wolves. He returned with a great collection that the elder then said he must mix with water and make into a paste.  That took him another two days. It was now day five and in the heat of summer;the smell and the flies were appalling. Next,said the elder,he must inscribe a circle around himself with a stick in the sand and pour the pasted he had made into the groove made by the stick.  Finally,the elder told him to sit inside the circle for as long as it took for the coyote to come and tell him what to do next.  It was several hours before it dawned on the white man just what he'd done. He'd spent three days gathering other people's crap and was sitting right in the middle of it.

   That's irony, he ended up roaring with laughter and was released from the worries of the world.  I simply recommend taking a walk outside every now and then.

 

    

Book Review: Vince Neil with Mike Sager Tattoos and Tequila to hell and back with one of rock's most notorious frontmen.

     They say if you lived through the eighties and you remember them, you weren't really there.  Some things I recall quite clearly. One of those things is Vince Neil. Platinum blond, pretty, a great wardrobe,a showman, a pin up, a man with an unforgettable, distinguishable voice, a rock star extraordinaire, that was Vince Neil.

When I think of Motley Crue, Vince readily comes to mind first. After six days inside the mind of a rock star this already  slightly crazy girl is slightly crazier. That's just what the book is, inside the mind of Vince Neil.

Released just this year is Vince's own book with Vince's own story 'Tattoos & Tequila' ,told mostly by Vince Neil written with Mike Sager.  There are several other people interviewed and utilized in the book because, well, Vince just doesn't remember all of the eighties.

     Also newly released this year is an accompanying CD titled aptly enough 'Tattoos & Tequila', a CD well worth the ten bucks if you've ever been a Motley Crue fan.  While I'm in promotional phase, Vince also owns a tequila company of his own, I'd love to be able to let you know how it tastes but regrettably not tried it as of yet. However it is called Tres Rios Tequila, sold only in 33 states. www.tresriosbev.com, for more information.  Oh, and it doesn't stop there, Vince is opening more Feelgoods Rock Bar and Grills all over the country and if one is ever on the Vegas strip well,there is always a few Vince Neil Inks to stop in and get some new ink, not to mention the man now owns Vince Neil Aviation, yup hes a pilot too with aircraft to rent. Least of all if you are in the market for shot glasses,belt buckles or a new shirt yup, hes got them at www.vinceneil.net, a place that also showcases Vince's fans,his tweets and concert listings as well as excerpts from his book.  As always there is a fan club too www.vinceneilfc.com.   End of promotional phase.

Vince dedicates T&T to his friends,his family and especially his fans.

The book itself is an emotional roller coaster. This man has lived and lived and lived.  The books chapters are all song titles found on the CD with the exception of chapter 3. Song 7 on the CD is not utilized as a book chapter.

          Chapter one:Tattoos and Tequila, starts with his Lamborghini Gallardo  Spyder (hes a car guy) and just why he was late/early Vince claims hes never late, segues into some Motley bashing, a brief overview of growing up, his career then and now, straight into tales of debauchery, women, drinking,drugs. He touches briefly on everything that follows in the book.  The first interview was held at Feelgoods Bar and Grill. Mike Sager and Vince Neil sit safe inside the velvet roped vip area at the guitar shaped table. and so it went..

The song Tattoos and Tequila on the CD pulls you right in with its seductive rock pulse pulling at your ear drums. You can almost picture a hot girls seductive gait to the pole and bam, it all kicks in hard and heavy as she grabs the pole..big guitars, big drums, everything big like the eighties.  Vince isn't shy with his lyrics. The song is in your face, seductive,big catchy rock.  Fabulous for those of us who grew up listening to it and still require heavy doses of it.

          Chapter two: Nobodys Fault is Vince talking about his roots, his mom and dad, and growing up middle-class in Los Angeles.  Vince Neil Wharton was born February 8, 1961 which makes him an Aquarius, I think that is why I can relate so well to him, I don't necessarily put a lot of stock in Astrology but there is something to be said for the type of person that falls under a certain sign.  This alone could account for 80% of his behavior throughout his life.  He wasn't bad,didn't try to be bad. He grew up normal. He had a younger sister,his parents worked, he went to school, played war outside,rode bikes and participated in Little League.  He played on the Dodgers. One of my favorite lines from the book is Vince describing the  new uniform smell of his jersey, "Its the smell of promise, I guess.  The smell of a little boy's dreams." There are excerpts from Clois and Shirley Wharton, Vinces mom and dad. His Dad bought him his first guitar. His Sister Valerie speaks as well.  The chapter takes you into high school with Vince and the beginning of his love affair with cars,drugs,booze,women and music..all it takes is  high school in the eighties. "Nobodys Fault" on the CD is a darker song, a heavier song, think "Shout at the Devil" era. The song rocks.

          Chapter 3: Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers is all about Rockandi, Vince's first band.  It talks about partying, high school, discovering band mates, the hair, the clothes and Vince ending up being the only guy in his high school paying child support at 17. The chapter takes you right through Vince turning down his first chance to form a band with Tommy, Nikki and Mick.  He was happy where he was, he never thought about being a rock star, he was loyal to his band and then he consented to audition. Yes, they made him audition the second time around.

          Chapter 4: No Feelings is all about the very early Motley Crue days,and what days they were!  More drugs, lots of drinking, the days of being broke all the time.  The first official Motley Crue gig was March 24,1981, two nights at the Starwood, the first night ended in a brawl.   The chapter is a must read for any Motley fan, its just too much fun to miss. These were the times when the boys lived,rehearsed and partied all in the same little apartment. The place was eventually condemned by the board of health.  These were the days when they were exercising their artistic side to come up with a stage show beyond music, lighting Nikki on fire, fake blood, candelabras and swords. Its stories from the Starwood,the Whiskey a go-go and climbing the rock and roll ladder.

"No Feelings" on the CD is very punk/rock. Its great, one of my favorites. The song is very reminiscent of  Motleys cover "Anarchy in the UK", it has a fabulous Green Day feel to it but Vince shines through.  Lyrically ,having now read his story, I believe the song is a sarcastic jab to his ex-wives.It could even be a sarcastic jab to the other three Motley members.  Its a fun song regardless of its origins.

          Chapter 5 "Hes A Whore" is Motley Crue evolving within the decade of decadence. The chapter begins with Too Fast for Love, the very first album and Vince's early experiences as a business man. It describes the "just how right he was" behind all of David Lee Roths advice, given to Vince freely in the Whiskey a go go days.  Too Fast for Love is my favorite Motley album. Its raw. I love the sound and would love a copy. Mine has since disappeared over time. The cover of it is Vince, his crotch in black lace up leathers one his early girlfriends bought him. He is gesturing with his hand, there was lots of speculation over just what Vince meant with that gesture. The devil? Love? "Why doesn't anyone think to ask me what my other hand is doing?" Vince quips. Its not visible on the cover. This is my depiction of it, just a blogger having fun. Feminine TFFL. The chapter delves into Vince's first marriage. Beth,wife number one, has her first say in this chapter. The chapter goes on with Vince's partying. Vince's women..oh the women..girls,girls,girls. He adores them. Hes charming. Hes shy. Yes,hes shy.  The Vince onstage is a consummate professional showman. Period. The first tour ever with Kiss, the first tour bus and Motley Crue subsequently upstaging the headliners and getting booted off the tour.  The chapter only touches on a few of the zillion or so crazy stories to come out of  what went on during a Motley Crue tour.
"The eighties were an aggressive time.  It was very free,but you have to remember,it was all about fun. It wasn't like the sixties. That movement had substance.  The eighties weren't about changing the world, Vietnam, all that stuff.  It was about anarchy and having a great time.  That's what it was all about. There wasn't any lesson to be had out of the eighties other than having a great time.  And that's really what it was about. Motley Crue served as the poster boys of that general eighties zeitgeist."- Doc McGhee
"Hes a Whore" on the CD is an upbeat song, great rhythm, very danceable rock, certainly makes a point about being a rock star.
          Chapter 6: Another Bad day is dedicated to reliving the day Razzle was killed, reliving the car accident, Vince discusses the other people hurt in it as well.  It is all  Vince's story and Beth speaks again as she recalls it.  Its a tragic chapter, sad and sobering.  Razzle was a friend of Vince's and the drummer of Hanoi Rocks.  The chapter is poignant, no one is invincible and no distance or lack thereof between here and your next drink makes any difference.  It was a well documented story in the eighties and worth a read now,to hear Vince's take on it as he looks back.  I remember following the story. It was 1984, I was only 14 but an avid Motley Crue fan, I was sure there would be no more Motley Crue and my heart went out to Vince for his loss and all he now had to live with for the rest of his life. He was charged with vehicular manslaughter and he lost a very good friend. "Another Bad Day" on the CD is not quite a rock ballad but its slower, its unclear if its meant to be optimistic lyrically but one can certainly perceive it as such. The music is reminiscent of many of Motleys  "ballads", think "You're All I Need" yet not quite as dark and longer. I enjoy the break it lends to the CD.  Heavy,seductive in your face rock and then..ahhh take it down a notch and kick back.

          Chapter 7: AC/DC is Beth leaving, its the aftermath of the accident, its the introduction of Sharise, wife number two and their relationship.  Sharise has her say in this chapter. Its when Girls,Girls,Girls was released, its the tour and the mustard incident (just read it). Its Japan,its women,its drugs,its Nikkis

          Chapter 8: Who'll Stop The Rain.  This chapter had me in tears. It is a roller coaster of emotions from Vinces perspective as well as Sharise and Heidi Mark, Vines third wife.  This chapter is balancing fatherhood, dealing with breaking up with Motley,loosing another wife, being sober and loosing that. Meeting wife number three, putting together a new career, Vince taking up racing and getting deeply involved in the sport and then Skylar getting sick. Skylar is Vince and Sharise's daughter. To hear Vince tell the story of her struggle with stomach cancer is heartbreaking, I had to put the book down at least eight times before I could complete the chapter.  Skylar left the world in 1995, just a little girl, after a very intense fight to stay alive. Vince now has charity golf tournaments every year for her foundation to help raise money for cancer research.  I think she looks very much like Vince, he loved his daughter dearly.  The song  "Who'll stop the Rain" on the CD is a cover of Creedence Clearwater Revivals song.  The cover is done tastefully,with just enough of a rock edge to it.  Vince does a wonderful job with the vocals. There are those who say he can't sing but, I guess the stats don't lie, hes sold millions of records, his voice is his instrument.

          Chapter 9: Bitch Is Back is Vince talking about getting sober, grieving for Skylar and finally getting help facing up to a lifetime of bottled emotions.I've found addictions stem from lots of self-medicating in order to deal with emotions, emotional issues and unaddressed problems. One thing mentioned in this chapter is how Nikki, Tommy and Mick never came to see Vince and Skylar nor called while she was sick or when she passed away.  They had children themselves, they had to have known how horrible it was. They didnt' even send flowers.  That is just very disappointing and hurtful to me.  This chapter is Vince's take on Motleys reformation. Vince's manager, Allen Kovac speaks as well.  It also talks about marriage with Heidi, their end and the introduction of Lia,wife number four. The chapter is almost like Vince grows up or Vince realizes alot. Its again a turning point in his life. "Bitch is Back" on the CD is a cover of the Elton John song. It rocked with Elton,it rocks more with Vince. Its a great song for him to do as its befitting of so much in his life. It is another fun track, sounds great in the car and is fun to drive to.  It is a great way to end the CD, cause it makes you realize... you go "hey I liked that" and you will leave it in the player and let track one come back around.

          Chapter 10: "Viva Las Vegas"  begins with Vince's sobriety date and more on his battle to get and stay sober,now with Lia in his life.  He describes her as his rock.  She is a Motley Crue fan that went to a show, got picked out by Vince, didn't sleep with him, exchanged phone numbers, he called her, and called her, pursued her and soon they were married. A Cinderella story, Lia talks in this chapter, shes worth reading. Nikki Sixx speaks out in this chapter as well as Neil Wharton, Vince's first child and only son, Elle Neil speaks too, Vince's oldest daughter with Beth.  Its Vince talking about life now, residing in Vegas. Its Vince putting a cap on the story "So many guys my age are like getting ready to hang it up. Not me. I'm like, Hey, I got a lot of shit to do, man. I think I have at least another ten years in me."   Hes 49 now. I don't think hes going to retire any time soon, he loves what he does. He ends with discussing the fact that Motley Crue still has not been inducted into the hall of fame. Hmmmm, thirty years, millions of albums, they practically created arena-rock hair bands, they were emulated profusely. He  closes with a comment on Motley Crue.
"Viva Las Vegas" is another cover on the CD but starts out unrecognizable, it is awash is screaming guitar licks, the cover is high energy, with a grinding rock feel. Its great, another song perfect for Vince Neil. 
            One of my Vince Neil stories goes like this, its early 1980s, Theatre of Pain is out and I've purchased the cassette. I'm maybe 15 years old. I lived in a very small town in a very puritanical New England. I loved metal, hair bands, rock, I loved it! My bedroom was wallpapered with Motley Crue pictures from every rock magazine available. Oh yes,there were other bands adorning the walls but Crue had front and center for me. I was part of the MTV generation and VH1. I ran downstairs to specifically turn on MTV for a premiere video. I taped every metal video I could via our first VCR as soon as I learned to record. Hit play and record, so easy and then I had Motley Crue in my living room any time I wanted.  My Step-Dad was a man from Oklahoma, very John Wayne looking, quiet and intimidating to me.  He was part Cherokee Indian and as I would come to learn also all heart.  He was a country music fan from way back, he probably grew up listening to things I've never even heard of as well as Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, and Merle Haggard to name a few.  Well, I wanted him to like my music, I wanted to introduce it to him, I wanted him to see it wasn't all bad. To him, it was noise, and I played my stereo loud, my Grampy used to say it made the walls vibrate.  One evening after dinner, he was out in our garden, I had done the dishes, and was settling in for some MTV time, "Home Sweet Home" came on and I ran out to the garden and grabbed my step-dad by the hand,dragged him into the living room with his garden tool and cowboy hat, sat him down and said' watch this video and tell me this band isn't making good music.'  He sat and watched the video, I stood and watched him for some reaction, he barely blinked and when it was over, he stood, I said "well..what do you think?" He said "Its good,shes got a nice voice." Tipped his cowboy hat ever so slightly to me and went back to the garden. I stood there in my Jordache jeans, ankles wrapped in bandannas, Iron Maiden t-shirt,neon-rubber bangles on my wrists, teased hair, arms crossed, mouth agape, watching him walk away.  Gotta love him...
Later he came to know Vince was a he but, still never quite got the hang of Motley Crue. 

          I do want to mention there is one other CCR cover on the CD "Long Cool Woman",this song was good before,Vince and his band gave it some punch. Its a great take on a great song. Its well worth a listen and you might even play it again.  I've been known to play it three times in a row every time it comes on. I just love it.

The other song that doesn't follow the book is "Another Piece of Meat", I can't seem to warm up to it and haven't even listened to the entire track. I like how it starts but lyrically I just don't enjoy what I've heard so, I leave it to you.

          In giving credit where credit is due, the men in Vince's band now are professional rock stars, they really compliment their front man. Vince describes them as "his real friends".  Vince has been with them for a while now and I recently had the good fortune to watch them perform live in a relatively small venue,  Firelake Grand Casino in Shawnee, Oklahoma.  The band went on late and left early which may be due to Vince having an issue with laryngitis.  However, the time they were onstage,they were nothing short of a ball of energy. The show was high energy, the crowd was on their feet,dancing and screaming for  the entire time they were not singing along.  Dana Strum is the bass player, Jeff Blando is the guitarist and background vocalist and then there is Zoltan Chaney on drums and he is a phenomenal musician. He is  the largest presence on the stage besides Vince, a star in his own right. Hes a blow your hair back and make you feel it in your gut kind of drummer.  If you like a rock show, if you were, are a Motley Crue fan than don't miss the show. I believe my Massachusetts readers can catch them this weekend in Chicopee,Ma.  Go and enjoy.

Tattoos and Tequila is a great read, borrow a copy, buy a copy, the library has copies, visit www.vinceneil.net for a copy or to just read excerpts, become a fan again, you will find me there. You will see Vince in a new light, you will have moments where you will say "ahhh the eighties" I'm sure you will come to understand him, love him, envy him, feel for him and cheer him.  Viva Las Vince.

Sieannas Story, One Dogs Joy

Sieanna came into my life full of curiosity,exuberance and anxiety.  I knew she was a fabulous creature but would require  work.  She was seven weeks old when we met. She slunk with her back end low to the ground, taking long graceful strides across rooms and the backyard.  Ears erect and alert, eyes darting from an object in her periphery,to the front of her and back again.

I was told her sire is a German Shepard  and her mother a Pit bull breed but, you can't tell me she doesn't have hound in her blood.  Sieanna is vocal when she has a point to make,spoken with a drawn out mix of yips and howls,even her bark starts like that of a barrel chested Shepard but is as drawn out as any blood hound.

I had been experiencing yet another bout with depression at the time she was given to me. I was probably thirty two days into it.   Functioning but not officially present for life. I was being tugged through the motions of daily existence by the cuff of my jeans, my black dog had her teeth firmly attached.

My black dog??? That's my depression,she is red eyed,languishing,negative, a loner and ruthless in her tirades. I was trying to ignore her without much success for the thirty days and counting.  Shes been known to come slinking and wagging into my life for no real reason.  She will stay there until I have trained her into some degree of obedience and/or submission at which point she will slink into her corner and stay for awhile.

So, depression was with me along with another new found friend the day of Sieannas arrival.

I had been out and about on a Saturday. I passed an open empty parking lot save for a lone pick up truck with a wooden sign perched against it,spray painted and reading "free puppies"  I turned around,of course, just to "look", of course.  I peered into the box to find four pups,one hopped up and placed her paws on the side of the box and fixated her eyes on mine and so she came home with me. Her name is Willow.

We were bonding rather nicely,she was sleeping soundly in my arms, my wolf was sleeping at my feet,the rest of the pack was playing in the backyard and even my black dog was sitting quietly for a moment.

Jamie came home from work,opened the front door and promptly deposited a wriggling,wide eyed,long legged,tail whipping mass of curious puppy into my lap saying " I know you haven't been real happy lately,thought this might help."

Of course it did, my black dog quickly retreated as she wanted nothing to do with the business of two sudden puppies.

Sieanna promptly made friends with everyone with her wild and frenzied licking,tail wagging and submissively flopping onto her side looking amazingly sheepish.

I knew she was going to be a handful.  She was my pup that whined and howled into the night,she was my pup that tried so hard to please me she usually ended up making things worse.  She was so exuberant and clumsy in an astonishingly graceful way.

She was given the name Sieanna after a Crayola Crayon.  If you look through a box of 64 colors you will find 'burnt sieanna' this is the color of her.  I wasn't crazy about calling her 'burnt' so Sieanna stuck.  As time progressed and she grew it became clear she needed a middle name for emphasis.  Sieanna Rose became the standard when she was caught with stuffing in her mouth lying atop a couch cushion in the middle of the room trying to look innocent.  She quickly grew   long enough to place her paws on the counter tops to investigate and lick whatever was in reach, 'Sieanna Rose' got her attention and got her on all fours again.

I had to leave Sieanna at a critical stage in her development, I was gone for two and half months, which can seem an eternity to a pup.  I worried about her everyday but that was all I could do, i was hundreds of miles away.  I was also worried she would forget me but I should not have worried a bit.  Upon my return she came bounding up to me scarcely able to contain herself, her black eyes shining and tail whipping back and forth.  She ran circles around me, and in between my legs, when I knelt down she licked my ears and cheeks joyously and eventually settled in for a belly rub.

We have since had time to reconnect. I have a pack of five to connect and contend with.  I watch them all but noticed Sieannas spiraling anxiety and discontent.

She has a high level of energy,without an outlet for this she naturally becomes agitated,unleashing whining,barking and possible destruction of things she shouldn't touch.  I see her pace, I hear her tail beat the walls as she follows me from room to room. 

I thought a simple daily walk would be enough to quell her.  I was wrong.  In my prolonged absence she hadn't been walked, hadn't been exposed to new people, sights or smells.  I subsequently found myself being dragged through the park by a muscular,aggressive,anxious seven month old.  She wanted to chase every squirrel and really one doesn't notice how very many squirrels there are in a park until one walks Sieanna there.

She also saw every one approaching us as a threat, she would dig her claws into the earth,pulling me towards her fearful target, joggers,bikers,walkers of all ages,skateboarders,rollerbladers,baby strollers ,other dogs and geese, no one was really safe anymore.  Her lips would curl,she would gnash her teeth, growl and send saliva flying.  I was more than appalled and shocked at her behavior.  This was the same dog that would roll onto her back or slink to you on her belly if you merely glanced her way.

I began a regimen of training techniques to address her pulling and aggression.  She did not respond well and training was slow. People were fearful,my arms were tired and my hands were beginning to blister from the friction of the leash. Once a jogger stopped after watching Sieanna and I at work  a few days in a row.  He introduced himself as Joe, a dog groomer. Joe risked the tools of his livlihood attempting to show me how to fasten a leash

around her chest in order to reduce her pulling.  The new way was supposed to cinch the leash around her chest causing her to stop pulling due to the tightness.  Sieanna wouldn't let Joe any closer than four feet away from us. He wished us luck and hoped to see us in a few days under better circumstances.

Joe's leash technique has worked well, her pulling has decreased,it also allows me more control.

We are now able to walk past most everyone now with a minimum of tugging and no barking though i still sense an extreme amount of tension from her.  We are still several walks away from a content dog.

As a reward for her work and to help disperse her energy,we drive to Eagle Lake where I allow her some 'off lead' time.  The lake is a mile around.  Occasionally there are a few people trying their luck off of the banks with a fishing pole but Sieanna ignores them.  She is content to run head long into the high grass and bound back to me.  I perpetually worry about the Water Moccasins,Blue Racers and Rattlesnakes lurking about.  I worry about the stickers embedded in her paws and fur.   Mostly I enjoy the sunshine warming my skin, I enjoy the clean air, I marvel at the mid west sunsets and the sun throwing sparkles across the lake.  I am grateful I have my health, and my legs  move quickly and confidently.  I am grateful my eyes can see and take it all in.  I watch Sieannas strength and stamina with a degree of envy and wish I could experience her pure joy as she runs through the trenches that border the lake and rail road tracks.  Sieanna doesn't flinch at the piles of railroad ties or downed trees, she sails over them like an Olympian one after the other with obvious glee.

Often times,Sieanna will goad me into a game by running to me and tagging me with her nose, she will bark deep and long encouraging me to give chase. I will,often she allows me to catch her and flip her for a belly rub. 

This is our time, our serenity.

Oh, depression, the black dog?  She still slinks behind me, she thinks I don't notice her lurking behind the bushes and trees.  She is currently listening when I command her to stay.

Book Review..Rock and Roll Jihad( global musings part 2)

Tappan Zee high school friends and musicians,1981

    Readers of my global musings were introduced to Salman Ahmad, his mother and his high school peers recently.  I learned of him via his biography which I have now completed.

I have traveled a mere 226 pages with Salman but feel as though I have traversed the world with him.

     Salmans band, Junoon, has sold over 30  million albums. He is a father, a husband, United Nations ambassador, a medical doctor, a teacher of Muslim music and poetry, and runs a nonprofit organization, ssgwi.  http://www.ssgwi.org/ 

     Salman is a talented man with a big heart and open mind.

Upon completing this book I feel strongly that this book should be required reading in schools around the world.

Junoon at the Channel V awards, New Delhi

It is ones mans quest to heal the world.  Were his quest shared imagine all the healing.

Salman moved from NewYork back to the middle east as a teen.  A Muslim boy already Americanized yet, deeply aware and in tune with his own culture.

Upon moving back to the middle east he learned first hand about the corruption within his government,the judicial system and the police in his country.

Music was repeatedly banned and considered inappropriate.  Salman worked against great opposition to bring music and a message of peace to his country.

Over the course of a decade and a half, some leaders in the middle east would rule with corruption amid serious religious debate.
Yet in 2001 Pakistani and American relations were improving.  Junoon was scheduled to play at the UN General Assembly in NewYork that October.
September 11, 2001 found Salman in Karachi staring at a CNN broadcast on a television in a friends hair salon.  He watched both his worlds collide.  It was six in the evening local Karachi time, the first plane had already crashed into the World Trade Centers north tower.

Salmans NewYork memories rushed back to him while the second plane crashed and he realized this was not an accident.  "God", I prayed,"Please don't let it be a Muslim who did this."

We now know 15 of the 19 hijackers were Saudi Arabian.

The hate virus was released.  The global media oversimplified and took an us and them approach. President Bush alienated people with fear mongering.

It didn't matter that the vast majority of the worlds 1.5 Muslims were genuinely shocked, bewildered and saddened by the loss of innocent life.

The victims in the attacks represented more than ninety nationalities. Including Salmans 28 year old cousin and a 23 year old Pakistani-American from Queens sacrificing his life as a volunteer paramedic trying to save lives from the burning tower.

The Muslim faith prohibits suicide.     Terrorists seem to want to be martyrs.

 Salman and his wife took to the phones,organizing a benefit concert to be held in a Pakistani girls college on John Lennons birthday.
The concert denounced terrorism and violence.
A million rupees were raised and handed over to Eric Falt, the head of UN communications.
If you are further interested there is a VH1 documentary titled "Islamabad-rock city" available.

Salman and I agree that violence begets violence.

Salman went on to meet with reporters from NPR, Newsweek and CNN. He interviewed with Bill Mathers on "Politically Incorrect" where he was the only Muslim guest alongside Gene Simmoms of Kiss.
Salman greeted Gene warmly explaining Kiss had many fans in Pakistan.  To which Gene sneered (though he seems to always sneer) and claimed they probably wanted to cut off his tongue.
Salmans global context went largely ignored throughout the interview, Simmons called him delusional. Gene had the last word.

"The US should do what Israel does, you slap me, and I take your country."

Off air Gene goaded Salman more.

"Sal,all those people who speak with names like 'agh-mad' are like cockroaches."

Salman finally had had enough of this and responded.

"Dude, I actually had respect for you, you're the one who discovered Eddie VanHalen! I thought you were about music."

Salman is a very big fan of Eddie VanHalen and had played Eruption on stage in school.
Gene responded back, of course, to Sals comment.

"Sal, its never been about the message,its about the messenger David Lee Roth was VanHalen,not Eddie!"

Really!!!!????? He said that!????  and to think hes my friend on FaceBook.  I understand the point he was trying to make, clearly still angry about 9/11 and retorting in kind, but, really???
Regardless, the Yankees tied the Arizona Diamondbacks for the world series and Sal went back to NewYork to make peace and music, the book doesn't mention where Gene went.

If VanHalen can reunite..which they are than we can reunite globally and I think we are making progress.
World peace is every ones responsibility.
If you read not one other book in your lifetime, if you love music, if you love your country and this world,if you believe folks are just folks no matter which side of the globe you are on and even if you don't read this book! Please.

"Rock and Roll Jihad  A Muslim Rock Stars Revolution."  -Salman Ahmad

http://www.junoon.com/

e book edition available